Please respond AFTER Sept. 28. Please respond BEFORE Oct. 9.
Think about a time you've lost at something. Maybe it was an athletic event. Maybe it was on the job. Maybe it was a fight with a sibling. Maybe it was an audition. Think about how it felt. Did you blame someone? Something? Did you learn from the situation?
Now think about how the winner(s) behaved. Were they "good sports" about it? Were they gracious? Did they take advantage of you? Did they gloat? Were they patronizing (talking down) to you? Did they ignore you?
Write a response to the following: Feel free to work in an example of a situation.
How do you avoid being a "bad" winner or a "bad" loser? How do people (you?) avoid misplacing blame when things don't work out the way they (you) want?
I've played volleyball my whole life up until this year. There are countless number of stories I could tell about different times I've won or lost. But looking back, I can just tell you both sides. The winning side; Oh, does it feel great working your butt off and getting that sweet reward of victory. It helps self confidence, self worth, and self image. After that, you feel ready to take on the world. Being on the losing side, flat out sucks. No one wants to walk away from something they tried their best at and still didn't accomplish. We all know some good and bad losers. The ones who gloat and the ones who humbly accept the trophy or medal. The bad losers say things like, "Oh, the refs were making bad calls," or,"my teammates played bad." They put the blame on someone or something else rather than accept the fact they they were defeated. Always putting the blame elsewhere is a dangerous situation. You delude yourself into thinking that you are perfect and can do no wrong. That's a pretty probable reason as to why the Holocaust happened.
ReplyDeletewhen i think of losing i think of when your a liitle kid in grade school and you have the people come in and tell you to sell stuff and if you sell a lot you win a prize. so you tell your parents this and they sell and you sell around your neighborhood and then the school fundraiser is dine and they tell your who gets the prizes. you wait and wait so excited because you know your going to win and they get closer ans closer to the end and they still havent called your name. then there done and your name has never been said, then this happens to you year after year till your hope go doan and you just expect not to get anything. the feel when this happened too me is just horrible your anrgy and upset like you want to cry and your confused and you have this knot in your stomah that hurts. i would always usually blame my perents and why they did sell more for me but they just said they tried and i know they did there best.
ReplyDeletethe winners in this case were always so happy right after showing it to everyone and making everyone feel horrible. they would rub it in your face for a couple of weeks till it wasnt cool anymore. they would also ask why you didnt get one and just make fun of you to make themselevs feel even better that there the only one that got it.
what i learned is that i shouldnt expect things and not to get to worked up about things and just not expect to get what you want all the time. that if you really want something you need to work at it.
If it's one thing I learned about losing it's that you lost and it won't mean the end of the world, even in anger you blame someone, but it comes out to be your fault. I've lost many sports events last year (everyone of my tennis matchs I lost last year) but i never gave up and i promised my self I would try harder to win. So even when i lost the other team was nice and they never gloated, so I think it depends on the person your facing weather they brag or not.
ReplyDeleteThis is my THIRD time rewriting this! UGH! I HATE BLOGGER! >:(
ReplyDeleteHow loosing felt- miserable, the fact that I could’ve won, but I didn’t prepare enough, or do the right action to win, is really annoying and frustrating.
Did I blame someone? - Nope, whether you win or loose, it’s the result of you and how you approached the situation.
Did you learn from the situation? - Yep, I replotted my strategy and challenge a rematch right away.
The winners acted pretty neutral, and not all up in my face, I chose not to surround myself with people who would do this.
I avoid being a bad winner or loser by acting neutral about the whole situation, and offering to teach the other person my strategy so maybe next time they could win. I avoid placing blame because everything that happens and doesn’t happen is you fault (with in your realm of belonging). That’s they way things go when you’re a leader.
At my work it can be very competitive because its in retail and even though I don't work on commission we still get sales put under ourselves. Each time I work I get a new goal to make that day and when I don't make it I am a little disappointed but I know next time i will make it. When others that i work with make their goal or did better than me I get mixed emotions but its nothing to get upset about. I think that everyday you come across new challenges and sometimes all of them don't work out.
ReplyDeleteI have lost in plenty football games with the jv football team. I repeat MANNY times. But every game we lose there is always a learning point from it and we can always get better at are mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI used to be on poms and it reminds me of the time when we went to Disney World because we were pretty good my first year on the squad. I remember that my second year on the team, we were all wanting and planning to go again but when that didn't happen, everyone was really sad and saying that we got our hopes up for nothing. I do admit that we blamed it on losing all the seniors from the year before because they were really experienced and really good. I learned a lot from this situation because its okay to not win all the time. It just makes you a better person overall.
ReplyDeleteThe other teams were pretty happy to go to Disney just like we were when we went that one year, like who wouldn't be happy to go to Disney World when everyone else is in the cold and snow and at school? But being in both positions it made us accept their behavior. When we did win, we were all really happy and were crying but we didn't ignore the other teams. We were happy and proud of them as well. But also being in the losing position made it hard because some of the teams don't appreciate it as much as our team would have. Some teams go every year because they are so good and beat everyone, therefore they knew they were going to go anyways.
To avoid being a "bad" winner or a "sore" loser, you need to experience on both sides of a situation. You also need to know when to not get your hopes up. If you lose, then put yourself in the other persons shoes, wouldn't you be happy if you were them? or if you won, then treat it as if you both won so you don't treat them badly.
A few times in my life I've lost at friendships. Not like losing at a verbal fight, but I've lost important friendships in my life. It's not the same feeling that you have when you lose a game or something else, because the pain that you get from that lasts longer. Usually they end up working out and I become friends with the person again sooner or later. But for those few days or even months that you can't talk to the person the same way you once did is so difficult. When I lose a friend, I tend to be angry at the person and blame that person for what they did, but really I’m at fault because I don’t usually find the means to talk to that person about what happened. Also, all the great times you had together run through your mind and you wish you could have that friendship again. More recently I lost a friend and whenever I pass that person in the hallway, I just want to say hey to them like old times and sometimes- it even does happen because of old habit. After that I start thinking about it, I feel so bad and I wish things were back to normal. I would love to talk to that friend again like old times but every time I try it's hard to not just start talking to them like old fun times, I stop myself and think about how it has to be serious, but I never know what to say because it is extremely hard being unfamiliar with someone I was once so familiar with. Almost everyday I wish things were back to normal. That's where I lost, because I lost the friend, and that feeling of friendship with that person. I don't know how they feel about it, I don’t know if they were a “good sport” about it, and I don’t know if they wish they were still friends with me too, I’d like to know if they wanted to talk to me, but I’m sure I’ll find out. Losing at a friendship sucks, because it’s hard to get back to how things were, sometimes they turn out for the better after, sometimes they don’t-sometimes you have to move on, sometimes you have to make things better. In the end, what you lost the most of is time, time you could’ve spent being friends with that person and being happy instead of arguing with them and being miserable. Truthfully in loss of a friendship, I have no one to blame but myself for not just talking to that person and making amends instead of wasting time being angry.
ReplyDeleteA time I lost at something would be at an audition. Before the audition I was really nervous, but then afterwords, after finding out I didn't get the part I wanted, I felt kind of down inside.I I can't let myself for letting an audition get to my head. From that point on I thought to myself that I would try even harder the next time. When I found out I didn't get the part, the people who got the part rubbed it in my face or said I'm not that great at acting or singing. Some people did talk down to me, while others simply ignored me and treated me like crap. I thought the right person to blame would be someone else, but clearly I should have blamed myself for letting this get way into my head.
ReplyDeleteI assistant coached my sister's volleyball team and at one of their games there were these little girls who would bark and make noises whenever our team was up to serve. These little girls were sisters of one of the girls on the other team. The other team did nothing of this and pretented as if it werent happening. So finally we told the ref about the little girls and the opposing team got mad. They said that they were just little girls and having fun. But these girls were casting little curses on our team and yelling out "miss the ball!" They were having bad sportsmanship about the game because we were winning. Luckily we proved those girls wrong and won the game, but if we didn't win, we probably would have thought to blame the little girls, but who's in the audience shouldnt matter, or even how the other team didnt care about their sisters shouldnt matter. What should matter is the game and not the player.
ReplyDeleteOne time that really sticks out to me is a soccer game my club team lost. The other team played trashy and took out half my team. Afterwards we stayed pretty positive after my coach had given us the whole lecture about being a classier team that still had a bit of learning to do. We blamed ourselves because of how we played. We wound up turning the season around by making the best of it.
ReplyDeleteA bad winner or bad winner is someone who simply focuses on the fact that they either did or did not get things the way they wanted. "Bad" winners brag about their seemingly successful game or audition. "Bad" losers are those who focus on nothing other than the fact that they lost. They don't see any of the positive parts of the obstacle. To avoid being a "Bad" winner or loser, one must reflect on both the positive and negative points and not just the outcome. By doing this you can improve your actions for the future and accomplish both a positive outcome along with a positive approach.
ReplyDeleteI think anyone can avoid being a bad winner by being humble. Being happy for yourself and your team without being show-offy. Theres a right time and right way to celebrate. And it should always be in a respectful way. Theres also a way to be a good loser. Not sulk on what could have been done, but think about what could have been done in a learning experience kind of way. Not be hard on yourself or the team.
ReplyDeleteWhen i was younger, my brother and i used to have races to see who could get to the car first. Since i was older and faster, i usually won. And i was a sore winner. I'd brag and gloat about it for no reason! Same goes for the times he would win, i would be a sore loser. I would say something like, "you got a head start" or "i wasn't ready." I never realized what i was doing was really stupid and pointless. I never told my brother good job or anything and I feel really bad about it now! Being a good winner and loser can be beneficial for you and for others. Good winners and losers gain much more respect and honestly, if someone is a bad winner, theyre really the one losing. Time to go tell my brother he won all of those races back in the day.....
ReplyDelete